Thursday, April 10, 2008

A Gremlin, a Greek lsland and a Horse - should have stayed home!

When you have a really bad date you learn what not to do in the future. If only you had known before hand what was in store you could have stayed home!

Well I didn't!

At the first date I should have seen the signs.

"When you are matched by this service you can just go right into a serious relationship" he said.

"HUH - HAIL NO!" is what I thought.

"Hmmm" I said.

No he was not a keeper but he knew I liked horse back riding - thanks to dating service sharing information about me.

He suggested we met to go trail riding. He would take care of details.

Seemed like a good idea - I wanted to ride and besides if I met him there how bad could it be...just wait!

The next weekend we met at a Trail Farm. When I got there he met me at the entrance. "I got the time wrong. The next group leaves in an hour. What do you want to do?"

"How about we wait at the McDonald's a few miles down the road?” I suggested. I was not going to "hang out" with this guy on the side of a road. Please how stupid.

When he went to drive out of the parking area I saw his head in a...a...a...GREMLIN - Good GAWD!! This is a joke right! No...it wasn't. He even had Mardi Gras beads hanging from the rear view mirror.

Can I run! No I will not bail - that would be rude. Besides I had driven to BFE to ride a horse and DAMMIT I was going to ride! Gremlin or no Gremlin!

When we got to the McD's I tried to avert my eyes from the four wheeled monstrosity. When we got in line I ordered a tea and french fries (not to healthy but what I really needed was liquor!!). When the lady said the total I looked at the Gremlin man, he looked at the ceiling.

So I paid! I was going to pay for horseback riding but it would have been polite for Gremlin man to pay for tea and fries since he messed up the time.

Chivalry does not reside in the Gremlin man.

When we sat down Gremlin man went on to talk about his grandfather. According to Gremlin man he grandfather OWNED a GREEK ISALND.

Mentally I was not seeing it.
1) You drive a gremlin
2) You would not pay for my tea and fries.

Then he went on to tell me he had hired a decorator to fix up his new place.

Mentally still not seeing it.

FINALLY! it was time to go back to the Trail Farm.

Since I have had some riding experience I was the first to follow the leader.

The horse I was on really, really wanted to lead. She kept trying to get ahead. What that meant to me on the woodsy trail was she knocked my legs into countless trees as she jockeyed for the top spot. My legs were getting pulled back in ways I was sure would break them - it sure felt like it! I could not get her to stop.

After about an hour of this torture my legs were in agony. I finally had to say enough! I had to stop!

The trail leader was very nice and took us near the entrance so I could get back on land!

As I dismounted my legs gave out.

There I was, a crumpled mess on the ground saying "Oh I am fine" waving them off.

The Gremlin driving, Greek island man got off his horse a few minutes later.

He headed towards me as I was staggering to my car.

He asked how I was. "Better" I said.

He starts doing to oddest thing. He started to go at my head with his head.

Oh HELL he was trying to kiss me!

I did a bob and weave that would make a fighter proud as I dodged for my car.

I waved and dashed off.

He called, I didn't answer, for next few days. He left messages getter madder and madder I would not call him back.

Like I said if I had known that experience was in store for me I would have stayed home!