Thursday, July 5, 2012

Eye Level

“How tall is he?” I asked.

“About 5’8” or so” his sister said. (my height!)

No high heels for me tonight. Unless he is into glamazons, I better wear a kitten heel.

Ahh the saga of the high heel loving 5’8” single woman.

In preparation for the pseudo date, a last minute party thrown together so “The Man” and I could check each other out in a not too obvious way, I went through my shoes again and again. I have four black kitten heel shoes. After an absurd number of outfit variations I decided on the pair to wear!  – Talbots leather mules with subtle detail on edging. Not as edgy as I would like but no sense scaring him yet!

Is it my imagination or are men getting shorter? Or are our heels getting higher? Platforms are a part of so many shoes. These Chanel shoes blew me away. Check out the C’s in the heel. The platform makes my height challenged sisters happy.
Now this ankle purse business hmmm…..give me time I may “get it”.




Honestly I have too much junk that I “have” to take to a party to fit into that bitty purse. If I tried to get to it after one glass of anything I would fall over because I would be wearing heels – that is unless my date is 5’8”. I challenge anyone over 30 to get their keys, lipstick anything out of that bitty purse gracefully. If you want to sling your leg around - have at it honey!

Now back to the pseudo date!  When I met “The Man” he was 5’8” and lovely.
Southern vocab lesson: Lovely means cute and fun man.



Tuesday, October 4, 2011

One Date Wonders...Coon skin cap?

You know this guy.
He talks a great talk.
Educated - plus!
Tall - plus!
Asks to meet you as soon as possible.
Calls before date to confirm date.
You meet him for lunch.
He talks big talk.

Then

nothing


try to contact him with a question....
subterfuge - yeah yeah whatever - I am not above it clearly!


nothing


nothing



Well HELL


Life as a single gal in North East Tennessee is not hopping


well


it would be if all I required


was


a


CAP


and


a


COON DOG!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bring on the Warpaint!!

My thought for the day

"Every so often a girl has to work with what God gave her"

This was my response to realizing getting dolled up for day date gets me all kinds of positive attention. So...do I look rather crappy the rest of the time? Sadly that is probably not to far off from the truth.

So back to the old southern wisdom - Always be dressed up including the all important lipstick!!!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Hello!!!!!!!!! I'm BAACCKKK!!!!

Ah yes where does the time go? What mischief have I been into:)!
Well I haven't tried that hard to be naughty because it can be expensive!!
Times are tight my peeps!

How are you surviving these no real Chanel or faux Chanal for anyone days?

Chanal you ask? That is the Chanel you used to be able to afford!

Kate Paid for Kate Spade, Ucci for Gucci and Tory Bunch for Tory Burch.

I have "discovered" the Dollar Tree, Dollar Store and dollar bins at Target.

I would love to "discover" a larger paycheck but wouldn't most of us?

I can report that some older man did TOUCH my hair!! WITHOUT my permission1

Can't very well pop a grandpa can I? It was an infraction but he was not aware of the "RULE!"

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I'd like a BigMac, a McFlurry and a McWedding - hold the mayo

Just when you thought you had heard all the "O u t o f T h i s W o r l d" wedding ideas.

You remember these right? - get married underwater, get married parachuting, get married dressed as zombies - now add getting married at McDs.

Yep the folks who give us McRib and take it back - are now in the wedding biz!

Only snafu is you need to go to Hong Kong. Like the country!!

NOT the McDonalds on the highway exit.

A real destination wedding. Bag the Bahamas! Ignore Italy! PooPoo to Paris!

Head to Hong Kong!!

To McDonalds?!

Are there Bridezillas in Hong Kong?

If Bridezilla wants the McDs to CLOSE for her nuptials - forget it!!

If she has a fit - how would anyone notice? - too many kids and grown ups pulling that stunt.

Would Ronald officiate - what is his career path anyway?

As the masses munch and slurp the vows are said.

Thoughts my peeps?





Friday, October 1, 2010

Sweet Tea oh how I love thee! No more...sniff

When I drink straight tea - no sugar - no sweeteners - you know I am serious.

Desperate times people!

Those pounds I gained last year brought more friends. All unwelcome friends let me assure you.
My doc cousin and his smart as a whip wife - my healthy and normal relatives - enlightened me on the Atkins diet. It certainly helps when your doc cuz is a Duke doc and his other Duke doc friend wrote a book about this.

So tired physically and tired of wondering when I would be skinny again. What! No Fat Fairy?! I took baby steps - no pasta, limit bread, eat eggs, cheese, meat. No mayo and my personal HUGE SACRIFICE No Sweet Tea! No sweeteners at all. Martyr me!

Walk when I get around to it...mile here mile there

Now 20 pounds are gone - took three months but hey! I can finally see the bones in my feet!!!

You know were a bit ummm fluffy when people go WOW! You lost weight!!!!!

Now if I can get another 20 pounds to "go missing" Wow I will be back in all my cute Ann Taylor skirts! and!!! pants!!!! dresses!!! They miss me! I know they do!

I miss them too!

Sad part is when I do have sweet tea my mistake - which happens occasionally - people must assume they heard me wrong - this the South after all - it tastes like syrup.

Sigh...


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Muffin tops are for muffins right?

Once upon a time in a land that is ours showing bumps and lumps was disavowed.

Now it would seem the land of this time says all that hangs out is allowed.


Nay I say to thee it is encouraged with low rider jeans and knit tops so thin

that the bod says you win with these low rider jeans and knit tops so thin.


So the bod squeezes out and hangs where it may, over the jean top under the cropped top.

Oh how I miss the Slenderall days where the muffin top was well not over the top!