Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I'd like a BigMac, a McFlurry and a McWedding - hold the mayo

Just when you thought you had heard all the "O u t o f T h i s W o r l d" wedding ideas.

You remember these right? - get married underwater, get married parachuting, get married dressed as zombies - now add getting married at McDs.

Yep the folks who give us McRib and take it back - are now in the wedding biz!

Only snafu is you need to go to Hong Kong. Like the country!!

NOT the McDonalds on the highway exit.

A real destination wedding. Bag the Bahamas! Ignore Italy! PooPoo to Paris!

Head to Hong Kong!!

To McDonalds?!

Are there Bridezillas in Hong Kong?

If Bridezilla wants the McDs to CLOSE for her nuptials - forget it!!

If she has a fit - how would anyone notice? - too many kids and grown ups pulling that stunt.

Would Ronald officiate - what is his career path anyway?

As the masses munch and slurp the vows are said.

Thoughts my peeps?





Friday, October 1, 2010

Sweet Tea oh how I love thee! No more...sniff

When I drink straight tea - no sugar - no sweeteners - you know I am serious.

Desperate times people!

Those pounds I gained last year brought more friends. All unwelcome friends let me assure you.
My doc cousin and his smart as a whip wife - my healthy and normal relatives - enlightened me on the Atkins diet. It certainly helps when your doc cuz is a Duke doc and his other Duke doc friend wrote a book about this.

So tired physically and tired of wondering when I would be skinny again. What! No Fat Fairy?! I took baby steps - no pasta, limit bread, eat eggs, cheese, meat. No mayo and my personal HUGE SACRIFICE No Sweet Tea! No sweeteners at all. Martyr me!

Walk when I get around to it...mile here mile there

Now 20 pounds are gone - took three months but hey! I can finally see the bones in my feet!!!

You know were a bit ummm fluffy when people go WOW! You lost weight!!!!!

Now if I can get another 20 pounds to "go missing" Wow I will be back in all my cute Ann Taylor skirts! and!!! pants!!!! dresses!!! They miss me! I know they do!

I miss them too!

Sad part is when I do have sweet tea my mistake - which happens occasionally - people must assume they heard me wrong - this the South after all - it tastes like syrup.

Sigh...


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Muffin tops are for muffins right?

Once upon a time in a land that is ours showing bumps and lumps was disavowed.

Now it would seem the land of this time says all that hangs out is allowed.


Nay I say to thee it is encouraged with low rider jeans and knit tops so thin

that the bod says you win with these low rider jeans and knit tops so thin.


So the bod squeezes out and hangs where it may, over the jean top under the cropped top.

Oh how I miss the Slenderall days where the muffin top was well not over the top!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Eye Bra - Who knew?


"Next time you want to take 40 winks use this eyebra - eyelashes askew after a nap with a flat (the HORRAH!) eye mask NO MORE! - yes the eyebra keeps your peeprs in high comfort."
Tee-Hee - Seriously though I like the fabrics for my bra -
40 Blinks Mask Sleep Mask at Bucky.com
I need to invent something like this - hmmm....

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Doughnut fried in butter - WHAT!!

I heard about this delicacy today - lawd - can you imagine!

Then I watched Paula Deen when I got home - she took hunks of frozen mac and cheese, wrapped in bacon, rolled in graham cracker crust, roll in egg, then deep fry. O M G!!!

I have to lay down! I am exhausted with the imagery!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

2009 is over and left me with 17 extra pounds, new facial hair and way too much wisdom!

OK so 2009 was shi-tastic on so many levels!

With a closet full of clothes no industrial spandex can get me into I am glad 2009 is done. No way to rush through the year - it's like the dental cleaning or more like the visit with the "girl" doctor. You just clinch and wish it was over NOW!

I started the year laid-off and ended the year working two part-time jobs I enjoy with other career pursuits underway. Diversify my income base. The economy has been brutal baby!

More pesky hairs are popping up on my face. Tweezers on the case because I will NOT be whisker woman. I have the fear when I do get kissed again - hopefully before I am too to old to enjoy it and know what is going on - the man will find whiskers on my face. So I need to be ready everyday for the potentiality of the however unlikely event.

Wisdom is great but it can be very painful to gain. Sometimes it is embarrassing. Case in point: Thinking that I could run in the post office to check my P.O. box with out makeup, dressed down and hair everywhere - basically looking like the morning after - I see the guy I have a ridic crush on.

Oh hell If I have to look like the morning after why couldn't it have been the morning after!

Ladies our mothers and grandmothers were right! You never know who you will see! Lipstick stat!! Tweezers on stand by!